Home Betting Aliens in Miami?: What Really Happened and How to Bet On It!

Aliens in Miami?: What Really Happened and How to Bet On It!

by Rain Man
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There are rumors floating around the internet that an alien was seen walking around a mall in Miami. Officials are denying that there was an alien, but this would be far from the first time that authority figures lied to us.

Many times before, authority figures have lied while dubbing the truth-tellers conspiracy theorists in an attempt to stigmatize and discredit them.

The top sportsbooks are giving so-called conspiracy theorists a platform to bet on the alien in Miami, with several intriguing betting choices: we can bet on the alien’s height, the jersey that it’ll be wearing when captured, its sex, the location of its capture, and who it will be with when captured.

I recommend investing in the “under” for its height, at the beach when captured, and with Antonio Brown when captured, so let’s dive into this fun market.

Hold Up, Is This Real?

The official report is that aliens are not real, and that there was no alien sighted in a mall in Miami. But the official report deserves no credence whatsoever. Authority figures will repeatedly lie to us when they think it is for the public’s benefit.

One random example is when Anthony Fauci said that he lied in March of 2020 that masks would not protect us from the virus, in order to allow healthcare workers to be able to get masks, which were in limited supply.

Because authority figures lie to us, we can’t trust them in general, but they are especially inclined to lie to us about aliens. Authority figures have been hiding from us the existence of extraterrestrial beings. They don’t think the public is ready for this kind of information. They fear that the public would grow afraid, maybe chaotically fearful.

But the Miami alien does not care if the public is ready or not, because it decided to show up. Whether lying officials will admit or not, an alien did make an appearance at a mall in Miami on January 1. So yes, this is real.

The Official Report Is Implausible

If you’re doubting the existence of an alien in Miami then you have to rethink things. The official report is less credible than the notion of an alien walking in Miami.

Alien deniers will say that the police were responding to a fight that broke out, but why would 60+ police vehicles arrive for some teenagers fighting? Why would air traffic largely be halted that evening? Why would the power go out?

Officials don’t have answers. Their silence is consistent with what I take their overall objective to be: they want to cover up the truth about aliens.

All in all, people have reported alien sightings. These reports refuse to be discredited. We have grainy but intriguing video footage of the alien. So let’s bet on it!

Betting on the Alien’s Height

The alien is reported to be very tall – around eight feet; people have said that it is as high as ten feet. Reports of the alien being ten foot high make the “over” 8’7 seem enticing, but the possibility of the alien being over 8’7 seems unrealistic to me.

Now, I am not denying the reports of the alien being taller. Both things can be true: the “under” for the alien’s height hits AND the alien was ten feet tall in the mall. How does this make sense?

Humans grow. Dogs grow. Insects grow. That is, changing height in nature is normal. Now imagine an extraterrestrial being. It could have perhaps gained the understanding and the ability to will itself to a different height. These special beings could possibly command their body at will to grow shorter or taller.

Since this alien has not been sighted again, it stands to reason that it is not very tall. Just imagine how easy it would be to see a nine-foot creature in a bustling city like Miami or even in its less populated surroundings!

The fact that reports might have been misleading – perhaps people exaggerated the alien’s height as a psychological fear response – could only support our case, in that maybe the alien wasn’t so tall to begin with.

If you’re an alien and you see LeBron James in your alien mall, you might panic and run, while thinking that that very tall man is nine feet tall.

Best Bet: Under 8’7 (-120) at BetOnline (visit our BetOnline Review to learn more)

Betting on Site of The Alien’s Capture

The betting options for the site of the Miami alien’s capture reveal how ignorant oddsmakers are when it comes to something totally strange like aliens.

An alien would for many reasons not want to attend a sports game or to be in an area that is well-populated by humans. One reason is that the alien should be afraid of human germs, which the alien has not developed immunity toward. Another reason is that humans must seem strange and perhaps frightening to an alien.

An alien would likely be found at a beach, since a wide-open space that, with its ocean, must appeal to any creature’s aesthetic space. Certain parts of a beach and certain beaches can also conceal private creatures. So, aliens could gather privately.

The beach is clearly their best choice for a hideout, and I expect creatures intelligent enough to find their way to this planet to figure that out.

Best Bet: The Beach (+1200) at BetOnline

Betting on Who Will Be With the Alien

If an alien were to interact with a human being, perhaps out of curiosity, the alien would choose a human being that would not reveal its location.

As we established, the aliens do not want to be detected, so my favorite betting option is Antonio Brown. A unique figure like a world-class athlete, one that has earned the adulation of millions, must seem particularly interesting to an alien who wants to learn about humanity and to see the physically best examples of humanity.

Antonio Brown separates himself from the other options because, likely spurred by head injuries sustained while playing football, he has developed a reputation for being a bit ‘out there.’ His reputation as someone whose mental competence is dubious entails that, even if he wanted to tell people about aliens, nobody would believe him.

Antonio Brown is the last person who people would believe if he were to claim that an alien existed. So he would be a wise choice for an alien to hang out with.

Best Bet: Antonio Brown (+7500) at BetOnline

author avatar
Rain Man
Hailing from Maryland, Rainman pursued his undergraduate studies at the University of Virginia, with an academic journey that spanned six different universities across the United States and Germany. It was during his time in Alabama that he delved into the world of sports betting. Rainman finds joy in watching and betting on a wide array of sports, passionately supporting his Wahoos, Jacksonville Jaguars, St. Louis Cardinals, and VfB Stuttgart.

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